Where are my feet?

It all started a few weeks ago with the underwear. One day I was looking for them and they had disappeared, and it wasn't as if I didn't know where I had put them. Each time I looked over my shoulder I could find them. Actually when I looked behind me they were right where I left them... But when I looked in the usual spot I could not seem to find them - covering up the mustin't touch!... Well no, that is wrong. They were still covering it, but I could no longer see them when I looked down.

What made it even worse was that a few days after I realized that they were MIA, DH (dear husband), asked me "can you even see your underwear when you look down?" Which I now thank goodness that I was in a good mood, because a comment like that is very likely to send me into an ugly cry tirade... but I just laughed and went back in the bedroom to look at myself in the mirror (not only to look at my ever expanding belly, but to confirm that DH wasn't trying to trick me into thinking that I actually had underwear on - maybe I had forgotten that day and had spent our whole morning coversation dressed in nothing but a sports bra and my birthday suit).

So as one should expect, this weekend I noticed that another article of clothing had disappeared... My feet were cold, but they didn't feel unusually dirty (which they often do on weekends because I get too lazy to sweep until Sunday night). The lack of dirt on the bottom led me to believe that I had socks on, but where were they? I couldn't see them, and I couldn't see my toes either! Had a mysterious amputation occurred that I wasn't aware of? Nope. I was just getting fatter... and once again I thank the hormone gods for being nice to me because I was able to laugh at this and figured that maybe it was to make up for having to wear ugly footwear for the next four months (at least I won't have to look at the flat shoes I will be wearing all summer).